This time, we’re flashing back to October 2023 when King Charles was out doing his royal duties, participating in a historic ceremony dating all the way back to 1689. He’s carrying this pearl sword, a gift from none other than Queen Elizabeth I herself, symbolizing authority and responsibility. Sounds like a typical royal affair, right? Well, not quite. Hold on to your crowns because according to royal expert Angela Levin, this wasn’t just any royal speech. This was King Charles playing 4D chess and sending a not-so-subtle message to his estranged son, our favorite royal rebel, Prince Harry. 

Let’s break down what Charles said. There he was, decked out in his royal regalia, with that signature squinty-eyed look, and he drops this line: “Do we pause instinctively and unerringly before speaking or acting to ensure we are affording equal weight to both sides of the balance? Our society would be a kinder and gentler place for it.”

Whoa, Your Majesty, are you about to start a royal rap battle? Because those are some serious words. But here’s where it gets juicy. Angela Levin, the Sherlock Holmes of royal watchers, decoded the speech like it was *The Da Vinci Code*. According to her, this wasn’t just a generic call for kindness. Oh no, this was Charles serving up a piping hot plate of shade, with a side of “Sit down and be quiet, son.”

Let’s dissect it. When Charles talks about pausing before speaking or acting, he might as well be holding up a neon sign that says, “Harry, for the love of everything royal, please think before you speak!” Can you blame the guy? His son has been out there spilling more tea than the Boston Tea Party, and Charles is probably thinking, “I didn’t sign up for this when I became king. Where’s the reset button on this parenting thing?”

And then there’s the line about affording equal weight to both sides of the balance. Even if you’re not a royal expert, it’s pretty clear what Charles is hinting at. It’s like he’s saying, “Harry, I know you think the world revolves around you and Meghan, but there are two sides to every story.” It’s the royal equivalent of saying, “There are three sides to every story: yours, mine, and the truth.”

But here’s where it gets really interesting. Angela Levin, bless her, says this is Charles basically telling Harry, “Don’t come in here demanding apologies years later.” And I’ve got to say, I am *living* for this royal drama. It’s like *The Crown* meets *Jerry Springer*, and I am here for it.

Now, let’s pause to appreciate the masterclass in passive-aggressiveness that Charles is serving. This man has been waiting longer to do his job than most of us have been alive, and he’s dropping bombs in the most polite, most British way possible. It’s like he’s saying, “I’m not angry; I’m just disappointed,” but with a royal twist.

The kicker? Angela Levin doesn’t think Harry’s going to notice at all. And honestly, she’s probably right. Harry, bless his ginger heart, has been so wrapped up in his own narrative that he probably wouldn’t recognize an olive branch if it smacked him in the face. And don’t even get me started on Meghan. She’s probably in their Montecito mansion, practicing her “I’m listening intently” face in the mirror while internally planning their next move. This whole “Harry and Meghan vs. the world” saga has her fingerprints all over it.

Now, I know what some of you might be thinking. “Friendly neighborhood critic, aren’t you being a bit harsh on Harry and Meghan?” And I hear you, but let’s break this down. Here we have two incredibly privileged individuals who had the world at their feet. They were beloved members of one of the most famous families in the world. They had wealth, status, and the ability to make real, meaningful change. And what did they do? They threw a royal tantrum, packed up their toys, and moved to California to become… professional victims?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure life in the royal family isn’t all tea and trumpets. I’m sure the pressures and expectations would crack most of us faster than you can say, “God Save the King.” But the way Harry and Meghan have aired their grievances—it’s like watching a car crash in slow motion. Only the car is made of solid gold, and the driver insists they’re the victim.

And what about this vacation to some exclusive island? They’re out here complaining about being cut off financially, and then they’re jetting off to places most of us couldn’t even point to on a map. It’s like they’re living in an alternate reality where actions don’t have consequences, and cognitive dissonance is a fashion statement.

The hypocrisy. They preach environmentalism while taking private jets. They demand privacy while doing tell-all interviews and Netflix specials. They complain about royal life while clinging to their titles. It’s enough to make your head spin.

Meanwhile, poor King Charles. He finally gets the throne after waiting longer than some small countries have existed, and instead of basking in the glory, he’s stuck playing royal referee. It’s like he’s trapped in a bizarre game of keep-away with the crown, only the other player is his own son.

But credit where it’s due—Charles’s approach here is masterful. He’s not stooping to Harry’s level by airing dirty laundry in public. He’s not giving explosive interviews or writing tell-all memoirs. He’s using the very institution Harry’s rebelling against to send his message. It’s like he’s saying, “You want to play this game, son? Two can play that game.”

The irony is rich. Harry claims he left the royal family to protect his own family and break the cycle of “genetic pain” or whatever New Age philosophy he’s quoting these days. Meanwhile, Charles is using centuries-old traditions to try and knock some sense into him. It’s like watching a chess match, except one of the players flipped the board and declared themselves the winner.

But here’s the real tragedy. The collateral damage. Think about little Archie and Lilibet, growing up in the middle of all this drama. Think about William and Kate, trying to carry on with their duties while their family is being torn apart. Think about Queen Elizabeth, spending her final years watching her family implode. For what? So Harry and Meghan can play the victim card and rake in millions?

It’s exhausting. It’s unnecessary. And frankly, it’s getting old.

But let’s circle back to King Charles and his pearl sword speech. This moment perfectly encapsulates the royal family’s current situation. Tradition vs. modernity. Carefully chosen words with hidden messages. A father trying to reach out to his son the only way he knows how. And what does Harry do? According to Angela Levin, he ignores it completely.

Charles isn’t just Harry’s dad, though—he’s the King of England. Sooner or later, Harry’s going to have to realize that his actions have consequences, not just for him and his family, but for the entire institution he’s still a part of. Strip away the royal titles, and who is Harry? A middle-aged man with a Netflix deal and a tendency to overshare.

Harry and Meghan want all the perks of royalty without the responsibilities. They want the spotlight without the scrutiny. They want to be both victims and heroes. But that’s just not how the world works.